Don't Be Dead
by LadyGreyBergamot
Summary: Johanna was Sherlock's girlfriend of two and a half years. She had moved to London to pursue her dream of becoming a coroner. One day, she saw the love of her life jump off of St. Barts hospital with no explanation as to why. For the week following Sherlocks funeral, she has been visiting his gravestone placing fresh flowers down and muttering the same wish, "Don't be dead."


**Hey everyone, this is just a Sherlock story that I wrote one day when I was crying. :s I reread this once I was okay and I started crying cause I found it sad... XD Well, I hope you enjoy. :]**

**I DO NOT OWN SHERLOCK OR ANY CHARACTERS PORTRAYED IN THIS FILM! BLOOP!**

**-LadyGreyBergamot-**

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"Sherlock... My love... My everything... Please... Don't be... dead..." I choked out the last word.

I stared down at Sherlocks' tombstone as I allowed tears to flow from my puffy blue eyes down my pink cheeks.

My knees started to tremble and within moments, I collapsed to the floor. I held my face in my hands as I began to cry hysterically.

"I love you so much Sherlock... I can't do this without you... Please... Come back... Come back Sherlock..." I couldn't stop crying.

I felt a light hand lay on my shoulder. I looked behind me quickly... but no one was there... I looked all around me to make sure whoever it was didn't just walk off but I was the only one in the graveyard...

I looked up at Sherlock's headstone once more and wiped my tears away. "Just one more miracle Sherlock... it's all I'm asking..." I got up off the floor and walked away from my loves burial spot.

"I love you too, Johanna," I heard a faint, and all-too-familiar, voice say behind me.

I spun around quickly with wide eyes. I was still alone... Tears started to fall again and I ran to my car.

Once in the drivers side, I just sat there with both hands on the steering wheel and I was looking straight ahead with tears streaming down my face.

I wiped them away after a few moments and put the car in reverse. I backed out of the parking spot and drove to the main road. I stopped at the stop sign and looked to see if anyone was coming.

I saw a guy standing at the bus stop with his back to me.

The man wore a long black coat that went down to his knees, dark trousers and black oxfords. He had black curly hair and I automatically thought Sherlock... I put my car in park and got out, "Sherlock!"

He started to walk away after hearing me. I ran to catch up as he rounded the corner of a side street. When I got to the street which he turned down no one was there. My eyes widened and watered up.

I knew I saw him... I did! But... he's dead... I saw him kill himself... I saw his dead body on the floor... I sighed and bit my lip to contain my crying.

I walked back to my car and drove home.

Once I was back at 221B Baker Street I went straight to my bedroom and into bed. I didn't dare go near Sherlocks room.

I looked at the clock which read 6:05pm. I closed my eyes and began to bawl my eyes out. I couldn't stop crying and sobbing.

Thinking I saw Sherlock just crushed me.I lied to myself again...

I can't remember what time I ended up falling asleep but I remember waking up at 3:05pm. That's the latest I've slept since I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager.

It's been fifteen years since then... This time around I'll allow it to consume me... I'll let it consume my life a little day by day until I'm at the breaking point. I don't have the strength and motivation to fight it like I did then.

I opened my eyes slowly and stared out the window and up into the sky. It was dark and rainy which I suppose was normal weather for London this time of year.

I heard the door to my flat open and suspected it was Mrs. Hudson coming to check on me like she'd done for the past week since Sherlocks death. The footsteps made their way to my room.

My eyes stayed fixated on the sky as the door opened. "I'm not hungry Mrs. Hudson... Please go away..." I said blankly like I usually do when she comes in.

"Johanna...?" A deep, male voice said from the doorway. My body flew up into a sitting position and my eyes shot to the doorway where he stood.

"Sherlock...? No... you're dead... This is another nightmare... It has to be... This isn't fair!" I screamed and slammed my palms to my eyes. Tears welled in my eyes until they threatened to spill over.

I opened my eyes after a few uneasy breaths. As I opened them, tears ran down my cheeks like a waterfall. Sherlock stood in the doorway staring at me with sad eyes, "Johanna..."

"Don't you dare!" I cut him off, "Don't say my name... Just don't... Don't... Why!? Why Sherlock!?" I snapped as my voice cracked.

"I.. I'm.. sorry..." He said and looked down.

Not once in the three years I've known him has he ever apologized.

"No... no you're not Sherlock... You were dead... For fucks sake I was the coroner who examined you!" I screamed out loudly.

Sherlock looked sadly up from the floor to me. "I had to fake my death. If I didn't, Moriarty would have killed you and Mrs. Hudson and everyone else I care about," Sherlock explained.

"You could have told me you were doing this. You didn't have to make me think the love of my life was dead! I wouldn't have said anything Sherlock..." I shook my head, "I hate you Sherlock..." I hissed through tears.

Sherlock winced; he never wanted to hear those words, or so he said.

"Don't say that..."

"Come on Sherlock, deduce. How do I feel right now and one answer isn't enough." I narrowed my eyes.

"By the tears stained onto your cheeks, beyond upset... By the way you look at me and snap... hurt... furious... And as Mrs. Hudson told me that you refuse to eat and leave your room, only to visit my gravestone, you're back into your depression state like you were when you were a teenager over your parents murder at your sixteenth birthday at Warped Tour." He said casually.

"One more thing Sherlock..." I scoffed, "Leave. Don't come back. Heck, why did you? You can't just do that to a person and expect they won't be mad! If you leave, I'll continue to think you're dead. I'll visit your grave and place flowers there everyday like I've been doing for the past week. I'll mourn your death like a normal girlfriend does over her dead boyfriend!"

I knew being in a relationship with Sherlock wouldn't be normal... but this is something I NEVER expected...

"No," He said flatly, "I'm not leaving again. I did this for your protection!" He sighed trying not to raise his voice, "...Not to lose you Johanna..."

"Give me three reasons as to why I should let you back into my life." I challenged.

"One: to apologise. Two: To continue to be your boyfriend. Three: You still love me and I still love you." He said as if he expected me to say that.

I sighed heavily and turned my back to him and laid back down. I closed my eyes as I started to cry quietly.

I felt the bed shift under me and within seconds I felt warm, slender arms wrap around me. I held onto his arm and turned onto my other side so I could face him again.

He stayed silent as he looked at me with sad, grey eyes.

My nostrils flared out a little as my lower lip began to quiver. I dug my face into Sherlock's chest and cried silently.

He has his arms around me holding me tight and his cheek on top of my head. He traced little infinity symbols on my back with his thumb. We stayed like that for as long as I could remember.

It felt good to have him in my arms again.

I breathed in deeply smelling his David Beckham cologne he always wears. I missed this scent... It felt like forever since I last held him in my arms...

I held onto his white shirt so afraid of losing him again.

"Do you honestly want me to leave...?" Sherlock questioned quietly.

I shook my head 'no', "Please don't... I don't want to lose you Sherlock..." I sniffled.

He ran his long, slender fingers though my wavy, blonde hair. "Good. I wouldn't have left either way..." He chuckled lightly.

I exhaled deeply from my nose and closed my eyes again. I snuggled up closer to him.

"I'm really sorry Johanna..." He mumbled.

I felt something wet land on top of my head in my hair.

I look up confused to see Sherlock crying a little. This man never cries and never apologizes so this must be serious; or he could be faking it... doubtful.

I reached up and wiped the single tear from his soft cheek.

We looked at each other for a few seconds communicating with our eyes only. His said, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," mine replied, "Apology accepted. I love you."

He smiled a little and whispered, "I love you too." I kissed him gently before closing my eyes again.

We both drifted into a peaceful sleep, with each other in our arms.

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Hey everyone! I hope you liked this, please leave a review and tell me what you think. Thankies! :3


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